I live with my parents and my three sisters and I’ve been homeschooled my whole life. I love being homeschooled. Doing school in the comfort of my own room, what’s not to love? Music has also been a part of my life since I was born. Living in the Clark house is like being in High School Musical everyday.
I guess it shouldn’t surprise me that God reached out to me during worship at summer camp when I was eleven. As I grew up, I always heard that God loved me, but I never really grasped what that meant. It had become something that I heard but never really thought about.
When I was growing up I loved to eat. Food was good and I just enjoyed eating but as I got older it became an outlet for hurt that I felt. When I was upset I would eat. I soon became obese and I was very self-conscious about my appearance. I started to feel like no one loved me. I would ask myself why they would love me. I wasn’t worth it anyway. I was lost and alone in the dark. I was hurting and desperate for hope.
In the summer of 2007 I went with NSL to a summer camp hoping to make some friends. To my dismay I felt like the other campers were completely ignoring me and this seemed to prove that I was worthless. One night during worship my pain reached a climax. My heart was broken and it was all too much to hold inside and I cried. I cried out to God and asked him to help me if he could. In the midst of the chaos I was feeling, a still small voice whispered to me. God said, “Kaycee, I love you. I will never leave you.” At a time when I felt anything but loved, I believed those words and held on to them.
Psalm 86: 12-13 says, “With all my heart I will praise you, O Lord my God. I will give glory to your name forever, for your love for me is very great. You have rescued me from the depths of death.”
I know now that he loves me and he is always with me, and that changed everything. I have something to live for and I have hope for tomorrow. God has been faithful to me in my troubles just like he said he would be.
1 John 4: 19 says, “We love each other because he loved us first.”
I found this verse to be true as I got to know God more. I don’t want any one to feel the way I felt and because God loves me, I can truly love others.
I am quick to tell a girl that she is beautiful and that she is loved. I hate to see someone being left out or ignored and try my hardest to include people if I can. I write letters of encouragement to people that I feel need one. I tell them how valuable they are and how lucky I am to know them. I couldn’t do any of these things without God.